Letters to Mr Morrison

Subject:  Children in detention

Date:  22 May 2014 3:04:25 PM AEST

To:  Minister@immi.gov.au

Dear Mr Morrison, 

I am writing to enquire about the current policy to delay processing of asylum claims of a minor until they have reached the age of 18. I refer you to the Amnesty International report, "This is Still Breaking People", published in May 2014. 

"In addition to this, refugee status determination is placed on hold until children attain 18 years of age, resulting in children spending additional time in detention until they receive an assessment of their asylum claims. This policy is punitive and ensures that vulnerable young people remain in immigration detention for longer periods of time than adults. This may deter asylum seekers from self-identifying as a minor in the hopes that their claim may be processed quicker."

Could you please confirm that this is a current policy of the DIBP? If so, what is the justification for forcing minors to endure longer periods of time in detention? Also, is this cruel policy reserved for unaccompanied minors only or is it true for all children in detention? I would also like to ask about the age determination process – what checks and balances are in place to determine if an asylum seeker is a minor? Finally, what sort of education and recreational activities are offered to children in detention? It seems to me that keeping them locked up only further erodes their chances of receiving an adequate education and also their chances of becoming productive members of the society in which they are eventually allowed to settle. 

Your very concerned citizen,  

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Date: 23 April 2014 – another response from DIBP, regarding plans for asylum seekers currently in Australia.  

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Date:  8 April 2014 – response from DIBP regarding media access to detention centres. No mention of the fact that a journalist application fee for Nauru is now $8000 – that's a matter for the Government of Nauru, of course. 

__________

Date:  3 March 2014 – letter received in post. Alas, not from Scott Morrison.

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Subject: Time to go
Date: 19 February 2014 3:19:09 PM AEDT
To: Minister@immi.gov.au

Dear Mr Morrison,

I am writing today to inform you that you have failed your department, the Australian people and the asylum seekers it is your duty to protect, and it's time for you to resign. 

http://www.immi.gov.au/media/fact-sheets/03department.htm

Fact Sheet 3 – The Department of Immigration and Border Protection

The department today

The purpose of the department is to 'build Australia's future through the well-managed entry and movement of people'.

The department is committed to ensuring it is open and accountable, deals fairly and reasonably with clients and has well developed and supported staff.

The department’s key objectives are to:

1. Contribute to Australia's future through managed migration.
2. Protect refugees and contribute to humanitarian policy internationally.
3. Contribute to Australia's security through border management and traveller facilitation.
4. Make fair and reasonable decisions for people entering or leaving Australia, ensuring compliance with Australia's immigration laws and integrity in decision-making.
5. Promote Australian citizenship and a multicultural Australia.

Let's take it from the first line. 

The purpose of the department is to 'build Australia's future through the well-managed entry and movement of people'.

Well-managed entry and movement of people? Oh yes, with the Navy's repeated breaches of Indonesian sovereignty, not to mention the use of lifeboats to facilitate the 'movement of people' away from our shores. Well done.  

The department is committed to ensuring it is open and accountable, deals fairly and reasonably with clients and has well developed and supported staff.

The 'Morrison response' is well known by now: cannot/will not comment because "On-water matter / Operational procedure / Matter for someone else". The transcripts of press conferences with 20 questions from reporters deemed "inaudible", then the cancelling of weekly briefings altogether? Open and accountable my derrière. "Deals fairly and reasonably with clients" – excuse me while I swallow down the bile rising in my throat. "Well developed and supported staff"? Hmm, perhaps they have all gone through puberty and maybe they even get to sit in comfy chairs whilst working for the department – does that make them well developed and supported? Because they certainly don't reply to emails from concerned citizens, nor do they seem capable of taking down phone numbers (http://thehoopla.com.au/im-meshel-want-truth/). Then of course there's today's snafu, "one of the most serious privacy breaches in Australia’s history", allowing personal data of 10,000 asylum seekers to be released online. Forget development and support – the first thing you want to look for regarding your departmental staff is this thing we call competence. 

Finally, I'd like to highlight key objective #2: Protect refugees and contribute to humanitarian policy internationally.

Never mind the grave implications for having released the private, personal details of people seeking asylum, it's time to concede that offshore detention is not only cruel, it does not adequately protect refugees. A man is dead, Mr Morrison, and not by his own hand out of desperation; he was killed. He came to us seeking protection, and he was murdered. Not to mention the other 77 pour souls on Manus who were injured and maimed under your watch. It doesn't matter if it happened within the detention centre grounds or outside of it; you don't get to wash your hands of it because there was a riot, if indeed there was a riot – the mental anguish and protests that the conditions of our offshore detention centres produce are another indictment on your ability to "protect refugees" and "deal fairly and reasonably with clients". Indefinite detention is not fair or reasonable. This extremely serious incident requires a full independent inquiry, nothing less.   

Lastly, "contribute to humanitarian policy internationally"? By being the first and only industrialised nation to subvert the Refugee Convention with regards to asylum seekers who arrive by boat? By locking up unaccompanied minors? By detaining infants? This is the legacy you want to leave, the Australia you wish to promote on the international stage? 

It's time to go, Morrison. 

Yours sincerely,

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Subject: is it true?

Date: 28 January 2014 7:33:08 PM AEDT

To: Minister@immi.gov.au

Good evening Mr Morrison,

I've just been alerted via Facebook to this breaking news by the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre:

"Scott Morrison to start the mass round up of asylum seekers in the community for detention & possible deportation. In an unprecedented attack on the rule of law, human rights & our legal system all asylum seekers who (1) have come by boat (2) have their legal cases at the Federal Circuit Court or Humanitarian stage are to be given 6 week visas only. If they fail to leave after 6 weeks they will be detained & face the risk of deportation. This despite the fact they are exercising their legal right to appeal & have a legitimate case on foot or their exercising their right to have the Minister consider their humanitarian claims."

I would like to know, and I believe I have the right to know as a citizen of this country, is this true, Mr Morrison? If it is true, by what justification are you doing this? Be clear on this, Mr Morrison: this is not done in my name.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards,

P.S. I am also sending a copy of this email to the Hon. David Feeney MP, the member for my electorate. 

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Subject: The not files

Date: 7 January 2014 2:15:46 PM AEDT

To: Minister@immi.gov.au

Dear Mr Morrison,

Don't worry, there are no women's hygiene products embedded in this email. 

I'm just wondering why I'm yet to receive a reply from you or your staff answering any of my recent emails? Well, the first one received a cursory "Your email has been received" notice. Since then? Nada, zip, zilch. Operation Stop the Replies: status complete, sir! 

Still, I guess you've been super busy not holding press conferences, not providing complete transcripts of the pressers you do hold, not answering media questions you don't like, not providing adequate antenatal and postnatal care to women in detention, not processing asylum seeker claims, not being the sort of legal guardian any child would wish for, and not allowing boats to enter Australian waters. Whew, that's an awful lot of stuff you're not doing, Mr Morrison!

How about not allowing Mr Ali Chaudhry to be deported to Pakistan? Could you not do that, do you think? The non-refoulement principle from http://www.unesco.org/new/en/social-and-human-sciences/themes/international-migration/glossary/refoulement/: 

"No Contracting State shall expel or return ('refouler') a refugee in any manner whatsoever to the frontiers of territories where his life or freedom would be threatened on account of his race, religion, nationality, membership of a particular social group or political opinion."

Now, there's no need to come back to me (lol!) telling me that Mr Chaudhry's is not a case of refoulement – I know, I read that paragraph too: "... problems with refoulement frequently arise through the fact that its application requires a recognised refugee status." 

Strictly speaking, deporting Mr Chaudhry to Pakistan, where he faces possible imprisonment for being gay, would simply be foulement. And you would be the fouler, Mr Morrison. 

Regards,

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Subject: Why no media?
Date: 19 December 2013 3:57:50 PM AEDT
To: Minister@immi.gov.au
 

Afternoon Mr Morrison,

I read Senator Hanson-Young's heartbreaking article,http://www.smh.com.au/comment/agony-of-children-treated-worse-than-animals-20131218-2zl90.html, today and wondered if there will be a similar story on the TV news tonight? Probably not, though, as there won't be any actual footage from inside the detention centre. So my question, Mr Morrison, is why doesn't the government allow media into any of our detention centres, onshore or off?

Is there an excuse for the blackout? I mean, the asylum seekers are not "on water" once they're in a detention centre, so you can't trot out that ol' chestnut.

Please enlighten me.

Yours sincerely,

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Subject: to reiterate
Date: 5 December 2013 1:28:49 PM AEDT
To: Minister@immi.gov.au

Hi again, Mr Morrison,

I came across this article today, which puts into words how I feel about your treatment of boat

people much better than I can. 

http://thehoopla.com.au/operation-dont-worry/

I do hope you'll take the time to read it.

Yours sincerely,

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From: Minister's Mailbox

Subject: Automatic reply: For the record

Date: 4 December 2013 12:29:04 PM AEDT

Thank you for your correspondence. Your email to the Hon Scott Morrison MP, Minister for Immigration and Border Protection has been received

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Subject: For the record
Date: 4 December 2013 12:28:54 PM AEDT
To: Minister@immi.gov.au

To The Hon Scott Morrison, MP Minister for Immigration and Border Protection

Dear Mr Morrison,

I am writing to tell you that I abhor your treatment of and policies towards asylum seekers who have come to our country by boat, or attempted to come by boat. You can repeat ad nauseam the they arrived illegally – we all know that under the UN Convention, of which we are a signatory, they have committed no crime. Where is your compassion towards people who are desperate to escape war zones and persecution and who come to us for help? This is not about people smugglers; this is about people, Mr Morrison.

I fail to see how non-processing, secretive and open-ended offshore detention, as well as denying due process to the 30,000 asylum seekers currently awaiting determination in our country achieves anything other than inflicting more cruelty and pain on people who have already witnessed and endured who knows what horrors, and – let me say it again – have committed no crime. These policies achieve nothing good. Pandering to the racist and xenophobic in our community is not good for our nation, Mr Morrison.   

And now, saying, 'Ha ha, Labor, because you won't sign off on TPVs it's your fault they're now stuck here without work rights, you're the cruel ones, na na na na na' just doesn't cut it, Mr Morrison. And yes, I was disgusted by the previous government's policies as well. But YOU are in government now. YOU are responsible for continuing the cruel policies and for adding to them. Both major political parties raced to the bottom on this issue but it is YOU who just keeps digging – drilling! – lower and lower and deeper and deeper into the hateful muck.  

Boat people have committed no crime; it's what you are doing, Mr Morrison, that is criminal. 

Yours sincerely,

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To Muse

If a girl's phone dies at the start of her big night out, did she really see Muse in concert? 

Was she really in a corporate box, where the seats are really comfy and you get FREE grog and gourmet food and stuff? Can she still get a LIKE for that?!?

With death imminent – "battery critically low! shutting down will commence in 3, 2…" – my actions and thoughts were focused on the practical:  

I'm still a 15-minute walk away, how am I going to meet Jon? / I'll have to phone him from a public pay phone / I don't know my husband's number! / Quick, memorise his number before your phone dies / memorise, memorise (the screen's too dark!), memorise, memorise / I've been walking for 10 minutes now and I haven't seen a pay phone / 04555 4455, 04555 4455, 4545 or 4455? no, 4455, that’s it / OMG WHERE HAVE ALL THE PUBLIC PAY PHONES GONE??!! / Excuse me, kind sir, fellow concert-goer on the walkway from the MCG to the Tennis Centre, may I borrow your phone? / Husband, please – just this once – for god's sake answer an unknown number… 

'"even dusted off some heels' #muse"
– failed to upload

(He did, we found each other; it was an undocumented moment.)

For the rest of the evening I didn't need my phone, but I longed for it. I tried to tell myself that instead of live-tweeting my night out, I was living it; it didn't matter if no one could heart my Insta-photos, retweet my Muse-ings or like my Facebook check-in and updates. I could see, hear and taste my life; I would soak it all in, retro style.

In no particular order, here are the moments when I instinctively reached for my phone:  

#1 Warm-up act Birds of Tokyo sing their "On we march with our lanterns on" song and the arena becomes a sea of torches, waving to and fro in time to the music. It was beautiful and I wanted a photo of it, and to add to the starry canvas with my own light.

I first thought people had been given glosticks or something upon entry, before realising it was actually Flashlight app x 50,000, apparently the way it's done these days. And then I mourned the loss of cigarette lighter waving. Sure, the phone apps were brighter, and it was arguably a more-impressive sight – and a smoke-free environment, which is cool now I've quit the cancer sticks –  but it was kind of sterile, like virtual reality sex (I imagine). Where's the danger? The potential burning of your thumb from keeping the flame held aloft, gas valve lever depressed for a whole song?

#2 Muse – the show was awesome, the lighting and lasers and big screens and smoke machine and the sound all brilliant and you know when you're there and you're hearing it and seeing it and feeling the vibe and buzzing cos you're on your third or fourth glass of bubbles and you just want to share with others all of this STUFF that you're experiencing.

As I pondered that I couldn't share this moment, I realised that that was a good thing. Really. Other people’s concert snaps are shit. Like someone telling you all about the amazing dream they had last night. The best band on earth will still be just tiny ants on a stage in the distance. The most awesome lights/lasers/screens/smoke/jets of fire will not see justice done, not even through a Hefe filter with border. 

Filming a concert on your phone? It’ll sound tinny and shit if you can hear the band at all; more likely it’ll be the girl next to you who won't stop screaming and whooping, and let's face it – you're no cameraman. Hello band, ceiling, floor.  

#3 The food – thank you, Jesus! – the corporate box food

Yes, I do foodie snaps in the cafes I frequent, I am that wanker… But it's because I then blog about the food, so I'm really not that much of a wanker… Or does that make me even more of a wanker? … Anyway, there was a moment last night where I had a gorgeous plate of food in front of me and a glass of red and if I'd angled the phone just so I could have photographed the food and the glass with the stage and the crowd in the background. If I somehow could’ve gotten my face down next to the plate it would have been a selfie/foodie/drinkie/concertie! I could have hashtagged the shit out of that muthafuka!!  

While I lamented this lost "wish-you-were-here-not-really-just-wish-you-could-see-what-I'm-doing-right-now-oh-wait-you-can-see-cos-here's-a-photo-check-me-out-my-life-is-awesome-please-like" moment, a fella from the cheap seats – a real proper Muse fan who'd paid for his ticket – approaches our box:

“Excuse me, guys, but it’s a really long way down to the bar and the lines are huge – can I possibly somehow buy four beers from you guys in there?”

'"Waiting for the tram" #muse' – my one and only
Muse-ing before blackout

No, no you can’t. A sad shake of the head from the girl next to me was enough to move him on, which was lucky, as I was about to say, helpfully, my knife and fork poised mid-air, “No, you can’t buy alcohol from here, sorry. You see, everything in here – it’s all free!” New level of wanker-dom narrowly avoided...

So, that's what happened to me last night. I was forced to confront my social media dependence, and I just wanted to let you know that I am now selfie-aware. I went. I saw. I ate. I drank. I heard. All without my phone.

And today, well, I'm feeling really good about the whole thing. Because now you all know. 

I blog, therefore I am. #muse

Top Paddock

For meeting in the middle

658 Church Street, Richmond Vic 3121

Coffee with palate-cleansing bubbles

Top Paddock, brought to you by the creators of Three Bags Full and Two Birds One Stone, enjoys a crossover clientele: south-of-the-river style and gloss meet north-of-the-river eccentricity and boho charm. Apparently, here at the top of Church St is where the twain deign to meet. The tall, tanned, metallic-topped and hair-straightened arrive from Chapel St and Toorak Rd; the slightly more dishevelled, vintage-wearing and bicycle-riding set make the trip from Bridge Rd and beyond. The result is a friendly, hip and eclectic crowd, quickly filling the vast designer spaces indoors and out to enjoy quality culinary creations delivered at down-to-earth prices. 

Deceptively simple from the outside

The cafe itself is a lot like its customers: a little from column A, a little from column B. At first glance from a distance the outside is underwhelming, a monotonous grey of concrete and glass – more department store eatery than urban secret chic. (Secret it certainly is not – tables turn in an exercise in perpetual motion.) Move a little closer though, and warmer elements present themselves: the vegetable boxes lined up outside the entrance; the funky functional outdoor 'road sign' seating – park your butt on No Parking, sit on No Standing, do 0 km/hr in an 80 zone... Indoors reveals more of the award-winning fit-out – the light fixtures, the functional use of space, the polished metal and cool tiles of the bar juxtaposed with the textured wood grain of the tables.

Award-winning interior design

A little bit country

A little bit rock 'n' roll 

At the end of the day, though, even a well-designed, uber stylish cafe will live or die by the quality of its service and product. Top Paddock delivers on both fronts. 

The operation is slick – I mentioned the rapid turnover of tables. Staff make it all seem effortless, clearing plates, taking orders and checking in with just the right frequency but not intruding on conversations; time between ordering and receiving was spot on, too. 

The coffee. After a bad night's sleep with poorly child, oh how I was looking forward to a good coffee. And then my long black came out accompanied by a tiny glass of sparkling water. Posh!

As for the food, the microherbs, edible flowers and berries used in plating made for impossibly pretty porridge and drunken ginger bread. My chilli eggs didn't have the popping colour of my friends' dishes, but the chilli kick cut through the creamy feta and scrambled egg; all three dishes were delicious. Again the impression of getting the best of both worlds – there's finesse in the plating but also good-size portions; flavour-bursting but not wallet-busting.    

As a typical northern suburbanite, I normally venture south about as often as I whip out the hair straighteners, but I'll head back to Top Paddock. The grass is very green. 

Ginger bread with chocolate marscapone

Ginger crumbs, but the plate's still a picture

Have you ever seen a prettier porridge?

Chilli scrambled eggs

Residential Kitchen – the sequel

Restitution

499–501 Lygon St, Carlton North

 

I was but a burgeoning blogger when I first checked out Residential Kitchen, and I did them an injustice by not taking any photos. I made up some lame excuse about photos of pizzas not being appetising – truth is, I'd left my phone at home on the charger, and got so caught up conversing with my dinner buddy that I forgot to ask them to take photos until we'd already demolished our pizzas. So, RK, I hope that my newfound love of Instagram, and a thoroughly enjoyable second visit for lunch today, makes amends. The coffees today were superb – I actually had a long black (the latte pictured was my friend's) and, though my milk-less cup understandably lacked a photogenic frothy heart swirl (technical term), it was made with just as much tenderness, with no bitter aftertaste that you so often get with an espresso or long black. Delicious.

Whipped fetta, avocado and roasted red pepper paste on toast

Before I mushed it!

Latte love

Sweetcorn and zucchini fritter, with poached egg and a squeeze of lemon

Oozing goodness

P.S. Yes, I tried mightily to work in another Resident Evil pun, with the whole 'sequel', 'Restitution' thing... (sigh)... I know, it didn't quite work...  

Min Lokal

For the memories

422 George St, Fitzroy, VIC 3065

Forkful of yum

As I sit in this söt and vänligt cafe in Fitzroy, enjoying my läcker salad and killer kaffe, I'm taken back to 2002, when I lived in Amsterdam and worked in the fashion industry. Ok, so I packed and tagged clothes in a rather unglamorous warehouse – it still counts!

We were a motley, international crew – Spanish, Cuban, Portuguese, Dutch, German, British, Australian and Swedish. A ragtag crew quite literally: armed with tagging guns, we shot price-point and line-item information through clothing samples day in and day out. It was brainless work, but we had a lot of laughs learning of each other's cultures, backgrounds and stories. Of course, the international language we spoke was English (lucky me).

One day we were talking about English words that have been absorbed into other languages ('sexy' and 'f*ck' the two I recall being discussed). Then the Spanish words that are used in English ('loco', 'fiesta' – there were many), then the German ('kindergarten'... again, loads). Eventually, one of the group turned to the Swedish couple among us and remarked that no Swedish words have made it into the international lexicon; we all nodded, he's right, there's no Swedish word that we all know.

As one the Swedes rose up, indignant. "Yes, there is," they cried out in unison, "SMORGASBORD!"

Those muffins are not going to last long

Poached chicken salad with added spiced sausage

Anyway, two more Swedish words are embedded in my consciousness thanks to Min Lokal ("my local") – there's no smorgasbord here, but there is lip-smacking goodness in the carefully curated menu, and easygoing, friendly staff. Let them convince you to add shaved, spiced sausage to the poached chicken salad with rocket, sweet potato, avocado, pearl barley, pepitas and Danish feta – so, so good. I also enjoyed the playful mural on the wall and their woody version of a terrarium in the front window.

And coffee connoisseurs, rejoice: my latte was loveliness in a cup.

Söt window dressing

Swedish–English glossary
kaffe – coffee
läcker  – delicious
Min Lokal – my local

smorgasbord – smorgasbord
söt – cute
vänligt – friendly

Coffee Hit

For surprising this foxymoron 

Fountain Gate Shopping Centre, Fountain Gate

I returned to my old stamping ground, Fountain Gate Shopping Centre, with some trepidation. This is where I used to prowl as a pre-teen mall-rat. This is where, from 15 to 18, I worked my first job, a check-out chick at Harry Heath's Rainbow supermarket. For four long years I scanned groceries and stacked shelves every Saturday, wearing the unattractive green sack that was Rainbow's uniform. On breaks I would duck into the food court to suck down a couple of cigarettes, butting them out in one of those disposable ashtrays made of aluminium foil. For lunch maybe I'd grab a bucket of chips, greasy fried rice, a cinnamon donut or something else equally appealing appalling. Those were the days.

Scrumptious food in the display cabinet.

And so, returning to Kath & Kim land nearly two decades later to meet a potential new giver of work, I have to admit to being shocked. I'd driven out here as a no-longer-from-around-these-parts snob; I was not expecting the place to look this, well, classy. And when I spotted Coffee Hit, where we'd arranged to meet, I found myself thinking: ooh ahh, it's nice, different... unusual!

Latte art

Coffee Hit is Melbourne street cool in a shopping centre environment. A pod in the main shopping thoroughfare, its industrial design with slashes of red incorporates loads of wood and striking crescent-shaped banquet seating, which semi-encircles the tables and chairs gathered around the coffee station. A large communal table at one end sports very cool stools.

Gorgeous retro-look La Marzocco coffee machine

A beautiful pearlescent white La Marzocco coffee machine takes pride of place, giving the place street cred (and me hope of getting a decent cuppa). Lynley, working the machine, turned hope into full-blown expectation when she started explaining their different blends: Caffiend (their strong blend) and the Ultimate Hit (silky smooth). I went with an Ultimate latte ... and a big slice of humble pie. Seriously, check out the latte art – we are a world away from soggy chips in a haze of cigarette smoke, people.


I do hope my new client likes my work – I am now one enlightened foxymoron, looking forward to my next hit.

Miss Frank

For the service, frankly

200 Through Rd, Surrey Hills (Camberwell)

I don't know if it was Miss Frank herself, but someone friendly, welcoming and knowledgable about the cafe's offerings clocked my open laptop and came over to check that I was logged on to the wi-fi – when I replied in the negative, she promptly gave up the password and assured me it should work automatically from then on should I return another day. My kind of place!

The cafe itself is surprisingly roomy and accessible: a lift helps wheelchair users reach the higher of the room's split levels. The large communal table has groovy cut-outs that hold tubs of cutlery and menus.

Having eaten lunch elsewhere, and trying to 'eat like the French' (that is, to not deny oneself, but to 'indulge bijou'), I plumped for a miniature lemon tart to go with my afternoon coffee.  The long black was just the pick-me-up I needed – not bitter but with a decent caffeine kick – and the teeny tart was creamy and tangy and just large enough to linger over. Two thumbs up for Miss Frank.